Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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