not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
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