Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
