I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
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