I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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