My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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