But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
