dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
