You just made me feel so damn special
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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