Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
