Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
