strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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