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I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
