i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
