i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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