Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize