I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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