He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
