ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
