just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
