i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
