DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
We're too hungover to prance.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
