ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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