The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
