Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
