Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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