11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Randomize