the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
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Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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