I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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