Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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