She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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