i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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