just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Randomize