ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
