I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
