She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
