Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
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