Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
