don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
