Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
And then my night got REAL pukey
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