your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
