oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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