Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize