are you still at the devil's house?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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