Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
