I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
