Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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