it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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