There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I have aggressive nipples.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize