She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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