I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
