youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
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