He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Randomize
