do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Randomize
