Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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