idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
